Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Why God? Why now?

Why not God, and it's never too late. I must rely heavily on this energy we call God. Is it safe to say that God is love? Yes? Well, with today being valentines day and all, and the person I'm in love with will not be my friend anymore because, she had decided to not be friends with her exes anymore. I am sure my many mistakes have also played a key factor, too. I have to respect her wishes to not see me, and at this point; even talk to me.

I'm at a place in my life where I've had a lot of bad things happen to me and am just starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. At my lowest point I never thought my best friend would walk out on me, but she did, and I deserved it.

I have to find some other way to repay the love she gave me when I was too stupid to see it right in front of my face. And when I say "repay" I don't mean stalker her or anything like that. I will let her be. Let her have what I couldn't give at the time. She deserves it. But since I have this love inside of me for someone I can't give it to, I feel it necessary to try and share as much love with as many people as I can, and only then will I begin to repay the love that was given to me...

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