Three twenty-five thirteen. This day seems nearly as important as the date two days prior. Two days prior I once again had one year without a drink. But three twenty-five thirteen is the day that I made a one year vow of celibacy. Some people have asked me why would you do something like that? Others have asked "why" more out of curiosity than chastising(no pun intended). Some have even offered cheers and support. But why? What about HOW!?
It's not that bad if I think about it in terms of one day at a time, but if I start looking at it in terms of months and how many it is...well, it makes me kind of anxious.
For those of you who are familiar with celibacy and what it encompasses, well, it's not just "not having sex".... Get it? No masturbation...(I will come back to this-probably literally and figuratively). More specifically, no releasing of fluids. I stumbled upon this concept a few years ago when after a few weeks of...not releasing any fluids I noticed an energy about myself. Not just that I was feeling more energetic, but there was a sort of aura... A radiant force that I was somehow putting off. I even had to pull one of my guy friends aside and explain to him what I was experiencing and ask if be had ever had an experience like the one I was having. I will explain more.
After noticing this energy, and realizing that I hadn't "released any fluid"(I'm going to continue to call it that and put it in quotes for all the virgin eyes/ears/imaginations out there) I started to wonder if the two were connected some how.
So I pulled up Google. Typed in some key search words. And found some very interesting stuff concerning the things I was noticing. The word "tantra" or "tantric" kept popping up. "Male multiple orgasm." "The Three Treasures." These are eastern philosophies of Taoism. The male multiple orgasm has had a strong push from the west(TWSS). As it seems to be the main selling point of the Taoist system. But it is much more than that.
It's about cultivating and storing energy. Cultivating you ask? How would one go about doing that? Masturbation. Yes, one of the things you are not supposed to do if you are celibate. But I thought you weren't supposed to release fluid? You don't. The male orgasm and ejaculation are two separate occurrences. What tantra and Taoism teach are how to make these two things happen at different times, and in all reality make only one happen, as the other should only happen when trying to create life. The taoists believe that when a man ejaculates he lets go of his life force,(ever notice how tired a man gets after he ejaculates?) and why it leads some to believe this is why women live longer than men, as the orgasm for women does the same for a man who does not ejaculate-it gives/creates energy!
Note- it is still possible to store and create this (jing) energy without masturbation.
So why am I doing it?
Well, I got to thinking...I haven't slept with anyone in a few months... I haven't had sex...I haven't been laid... This is how I had been viewing sex. It doesn't feel right thinking that way about it. Something has changed...Going through life with such a cheap outlook on something that's suppose to be special between two people. The last five years has really warped my sense of what sex is and what it isn't. I used it to try and fill holes inside me(twss...). I've seen how that person turns out. I don't want to be that person.
The reason I've chosen to be celibate is not to explore the male multiple orgasm, but to channel and harness the energy that comes from not releasing. To focus that energy on accomplishing the goals I have set for myself. The goals, even as I look at them, seem daunting from time to time. It is this energy that I feel that I will need to push through these tasks. At the end of these endeavors that I've laid out for myself will be more challenges. I will not just stop... I will keep going.
Please follow along this journey with me, and we will see where it takes us!....
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