I don't know why I started again...it's either me...or this place.
My fist relapse after 11 years was definitely all my own doing. Thought I was cured. But after nearly losing everything; house, job, relationship, self respect...everything. It was time to have a serious look at my actions and what kinds of damage they were causing...still causing. I've had bouts of sobriety after the 11 years. I was happy.
But, it wasn't until I ended up here that I would start drinking...I know enough about my alcoholism/addiction that the blame for my relapses cannot be blamed on the state of Montana, or more specifically, the town's of Harlowton and Lewistown.
So what is it about this place? What is it that makes me think, " I need a fucking drink" whenever I get I to this state and those towns? I don't know, but I wish I did. I would probably be a lot more content being here, but have always had a sense of not wanting to be here...
I don't know...I got to get ready for work...maybe more later.
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