Serendipity...

On a recent trip back from Washington to visit my family... I knew before I got there that I wasn't going to want to leave... I almost didn't...

Needless to say I went back to Montana not knowing how I'd feel when I got there.

When I came back to work after that 4 day weekend, I was hoping for a sign of sorts. 

I say "a sign"  because I was really starting to grow attached to this area. My biological family is here,  I've met a lot of people I like, and I have a decent job with great growth potential. That's a hard sign to beat...

But I kept having this whisper in my ear..."Are you gonna give up on your dreams?...." 

 I questioned that thought...  "Maybe my dreams are here...?" 

Torn between 2 choices...

One, fulfilling a vision/dream I had, or  two, stay where I'm at, work the 9-5 job, settle in, and become part of the community... Staying put was the easier softer way...

I've never been one to follow the status quo...

So, back to work on a Tuesday after my sabbatical to Washington I hear the guy who trained me say in my direction, "He's from Washington!" 

And what turned around was the first sign. The most beautiful thing I've ever seen. The Virgo to my Cancer. 

If you believe in that sort of thing...

The second sign is her name.  She's not a Jenny, an Amy, or a Shirley. It's exotic, sexy, and it fits... 

The 3rd sign was the place she was from. The same place from which I just came , and the place I was trying to decide to return to.

At that moment, which is as vivid as an HD picture in my head, and literally probably only lasted less than 30 seconds. That afternoon, I thought to myself, "There's my reason for staying in Montana!" 

Shit! I didn't even know if she was single, married, or had kids! But if these were truly "signs"... Well... Then ... That stuff...It wouldn't matter...

Although, during one of our smoke breaks I remember her saying that she was trying to get back to Washington  as soon as she could... I think she used some colorful language about how cold it was going to get here...

I was disappointed at first to hear her say that she was going to leave..and she is right about the cold!

But that's probably the moment that all these actions are now taking place... I wasn't going to get left here...

Within a few days I had sent a message back home about getting "my dreams" back on track, and now with family on board; like minds accomplishing like goals, we are nearly set to take over the world! :) Sorta..:)

Given the circumstances, I knew it was going to take some time to get me back there...

It wasn't until Halloween night, a couple weeks later,  at an after hours party  that everything changed... More signs...

I showed up to that Halloween party with 4 of the coolest people in town. One of them being the prettiest girl I've ever had the opportunity of getting to know...

She was hit on all night... 

...and not by me...

On more than one occasion, I'd leave one room, and be in another for a few minutes.  Wishing I'd have that pretty girl to talk to...

Seconds later... She walks into the room,  finds my eyes...and we meet somewhere in the middle...On more than one occasion...

Since then, nothing has been the same...

I leave here soon. Don't want to, but don't feel as if this is the place for me. I wish she could come with me, I wanted her to, I told her such,  and wonder if I'm out if my mind for doing so.  

The rest hasn't been written yet...;)

... there is now something to be  written...Mind you, this is now months later...

I left Montana.  And what I was looking for when I left  was not there when I reached my destination...

So I  returned...

My spirit was broken... 

I sit here still, damaged from that experience.  Learning new lessons along the way. More confused before I left...

You might wonder...

What about the girl? 

Honestly? I have no idea... It's as if she's fallen off the face of the earth. 

I see her everyday. I'm cordial. 

Everyone around us seen what we were...I don't know if I was just feeling everyone's thoughts about us, but it felt good. Great. Amazing...

...when it was there...

Then one day, it just stopped. 

She barely says two words to me, and only unless I initiate the conversation...

Don't know what the fuck I did or didn't do... I'll be the bad guy so nobody else has to be...I still get asked what happened between us... 

The only thing I can say, "I have no fucking idea!"