Time for change...

Time to start bring more positive people into my life... Less wreckage and more love... I want to thank all of my world wide readers who have supported this blog, even during the slow times. I will try to bring to you more content in the coming days and weeks!:) Take care, have fun, and love one another!:)

And yet again...

I have been made to feel like a fool for the third time in two months... I'm sick of it. I'm tired of the games people play... I'm tired of being a piece in their game... I try and let people in, but in turn they just walk all over me... Use me for their own gain, and when they're done just throw me out like the trash... I am done dealing with people like this in my life... They don't deserve to have me in their lives... I hope they go back to the lives they had before and forget that I even exist, it would be much easier that way for everyone involved.

Shivers...

Had a dream the other morning that shot me out of bed with what sounded like the love that I lost standing at my front door crying and saying my name...In tears I heard her say, "Jason..."

I later told a friend of this experience. I told them it sounded and felt so real, and as I told her I had to warn her of the craziest part... That I felt inside of me that it was her soul/spirit reaching out, lost, confused, angry with me...don't know how else to describe it...

A few days following my friend told me she randomly left work and drove to a lookout by the bay in the town she works in. She told me that she had to message me because as she came to sit down at this look out. There was a book sitting there. It was an inspirational book, the daily reading type. For the day that she was reading for went something like this:"When the world says give up hope, whispers say, 'try one more time.'"

It doesn't happen often in life that messages like that come through to us, that one sent shivers down my spine...

I've loved and I've lost...

I keep this picture close to me. What do you see? At that moment there was nothing better. I'm hope to someday get back to a place where; whether or not it's with that special person, that I find that happiness again. She has moved on and has found that happiness again in someone else. I am happy for her, but sad that we can't be happy together. She meant the world to me. I write it on this blog as I want the world to know. I want the world to know that if you have something so special that living your life without it seems unbearable; you better hold on to it. You better not let it go. Fight with everything you have to keep it. And if you are able to salvage that piece of heaven then thank your lucky stars!

*written two months ago

I like this

When we're wrong

We don't want to hear it when someone else is right... Do we?

The Hawk...

Saw a hawk yesterday... And this is the message it brings... Again, powerful stuff....


"In representation to humanity, the hawk is called messenger, protector and visionary. Keen vision is one of its greatest gifts. Hawks see things others miss.

The hawk comes to you indicating that you are now awakening to your soul purpose, your reason for being here. It can teach you how to fly high while keeping yourself connected to the ground.

As you rise to a higher level, your psychic energies are awakening and the hawk can help you to keep those senses in balance. Its message for you is to be open to hope and new ideas, to extend the vision of your life.

The Hawk is an animal of flight. It soars through the air looking down, and sees everything. It has a larger perspective of what is going on down below. With its keen eyesight, it looks down as it soars through the air looking for its prey. It can see the smallest of creatures below.

The Hawk teaches you to be observant and take a close look at your surroundings. It soars with the power to overcome difficult situations. It soars in circles over the life of the earth, asking you to circle over your life and view it from a higher perspective.

The Hawk has a distinct cry, one that most people are aware of. Its cry signifies awareness. If you hear the cry of the hawk use your intuitive ability to discern the message and seek the truth.

If a hawk has soared into your life, you require a higher perspective. You need to see the details of what is going on and look at the bigger picture. Take a look at your situation from above."

Food for Thought...

"We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.

"We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals-usually brief-were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better."~page 30 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Page 25 continued...

If you are ad seriously alcoholic as we were, we believe there is no middle-of-the-road solution. We were in a position where life was becoming impossible, and if we had passed into the region from which there is no return through human aid, we had but two alternatives: One was to go on to the bitter end, blotting out the consciousness of our intolerable situation as best we could; and the other, to accept spiritual help.

There is a solution page 25 Alcoholics Anonymous

There is a solution. Almost none of us liked the self-searching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings which the process requires for successful consummation.